Balancing Control and Surrender

"The magic happens when you know when to push and when to yield."

It snowed last night in the Salt Lake valley, and I’m drafting this by a fire and the light of a Christmas tree. Yep, we’re that family that puts their Christmas tree up before Thanksgiving this year—mostly because this will be our first Christmas in the new house. Sitting here feels tender, a reminder of how hard it’s been to get here—and how much it takes to hold on to the good things, sometimes.

A confession: This year has been the hardest I’ve had in business and my career. It’s been a year of balancing between hustle mode and despair, constantly pushing, constantly grinding, and feeling like it’s never quite enough. Somewhere along the way, I’ve forgotten the art of passive pressure—the intentional act of stepping back, resting, and allowing space for acceptance and recalibration.

In riding, passive pressure isn’t about giving up; it’s about releasing tension while staying connected. It’s about trusting the trail to carry you while you absorb what’s ahead. And in life, I’ve realized, it’s much the same. Surrender isn’t defeat; it’s the acknowledgment that not every problem can be solved through sheer effort alone.

This lesson has been hard for me to learn—harder than I care to admit. But as Jamie and I have discussed, there’s a balance between active and passive pressure that’s not just a skill on the bike, but a metaphor for life itself. When I look back on this year, I see how often I’ve leaned too hard into hustle, forgetting that growth and clarity also need space to breathe.

With that, let’s dive into this week’s life lessons: the interplay of effort and surrender, and how it shapes both our rides and our lives. We talked about this back in episode 6.¹

Effort and Rest Are Partners, Not Opposites

In life, as on the trail, it’s tempting to think that effort and rest are separate, even conflicting, states. But the truth is, they depend on each other. Just like pushing into a berm creates the energy to glide through the next section, periods of deliberate effort give meaning and purpose to moments of rest. Yielding isn’t about giving up—it’s about knowing when to pause, let go, and let things take their natural course.

Balancing effort and rest is crucial for both productivity and personal well-being. Research indicates that integrating periods of rest into our routines can enhance performance and prevent burnout. For instance, studies have shown that taking regular breaks can improve focus and efficiency, as continuous work without rest leads to diminishing returns.

Photo by Edmundas Stundzius on Unsplash

Intentional Release Creates Space for Growth

Passive pressure on the bike isn’t about going limp; it’s a controlled, intentional release that allows the bike to glide and adapt to the terrain. In life, the same principle applies. Letting go of control—whether in relationships, work, or personal goals—doesn’t mean abandoning them. Instead, it’s about trusting the process and giving yourself the freedom to adapt and grow.

Releasing the need to control every aspect of life can reduce stress and foster personal growth. This aligns with mindfulness practices, which emphasize present-moment awareness and acceptance. And acceptance isn’t just for our circumstances, it’s also for ourselves—cultivating self-acceptance not only lowers stress but also improves emotional resilience, creating a foundation for greater well-being.

Letting go isn’t an act of resignation; it’s an act of intention. It allows you to stay connected to what matters without being consumed by the need to control every outcome. This shift—both on the bike and in life—creates the flexibility needed to move forward with clarity and ease… or sometimes, just at all.

[I’m feeling tender, so you get music.]

Practice Makes… More Practiced

Here are some journal prompts to help you reflect on how the balance of effort and release shows up in your life:

• Where in your life are you pushing too hard? How might stepping back help you regain perspective or energy?

• What’s something you’ve been holding onto too tightly? How can you release it with intention, without giving up?

• How do you know when it’s time to push and when it’s time to yield? What helps you recognize that balance?

Here’s to finding that rhythm—on the bike, in life, and in all the spaces in between. Until next time, friends.

- Danielle

1. This post has been created with the help of AI and drew on the original content from episode 6 and outside research. Outside sources have been linked.